Recent Posts – Page 2 – Jewel and Ash

Finding Strength in Vulnerability, Holding Space for Both the Sparkle and the Struggle

A Day in the Life: The Unseen Struggle of Chronic Illness

When I told my supervisor the world turns black when I stand up, she said, 'It does?! Every time?' Yup. Every time. They wonder why I prefer telehealth. This is a day in my life with a chronic illness, where a simple shower feels like a monumental task and an unexpected conversation in the office can be the most recharging part of the day. It's a day of navigating appointments, family needs, and a body that has other plans. This is the unshowered truth of what an invisible illness looks like.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability, Values Compass

How I Stopped Believing What I Think

This Values Compass journey took an interesting turn when I realized I was late. Not just late with writing this post, but late to everything—work, appointments, and even to drop off my daughter at school.

"What is wrong with me?" I would ask myself. But this time, my brain had a new answer: "Well, you have MS for one."

For a long time, I've had a bad habit of letting "shoulds" run the show. I should have gotten that done sooner. I should be able to do it all. But what if we don't have to believe our own thoughts? What if we can choose grace instead of guilt?

My journey to accepting my diagnosis—and my new reality—led me to a deeper understanding of grace. It's a journey of learning to forgive myself, lower my expectations, and believe that my worth isn't tied to my productivity.

Read the full story and reflect on your own journey with grace on my blog.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability, Values Compass

The Growth of Not Knowing: A Curious Journey

What if not knowing the answer isn't a weakness, but a superpower? As kids, we're born with an insatiable curiosity—a drive to explore a world that feels limitless. But as we grow, that spark often fades, replaced by the fear of judgment and the pressure to have all the answers.

Join me on a journey to reclaim that lost sense of wonder. In this blog, I explore how curiosity can transform from a source of anxiety into a wellspring of connection and profound personal growth. Through stories of discovering silly laws, embracing vulnerability in my work as a counselor, and navigating life with an MS diagnosis, I'll share how learning to ask "what if?" has made my world bigger, richer, and more full of life.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability, Values Compass

The Dialectic of Gratitude: The Jewel and Ash of MS

"My Values Compass" is a project born from a place of feeling stuck and misunderstood. Instead of waiting for things to get better, I decided to take action, asking you—my community—to help me explore my own core values. Each week, we delve into a new value, reflecting on how it shapes our lives and helps us find clarity and direction.

This blog is a personal journey, but my hope is that it can be a shared one. My reflections on values like gratitude and openness are an invitation for you to explore your own. Together, we can find purpose in the most challenging moments and discover the powerful stories hidden within our own lives.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability

“Try Harder” 2.0: The Visible Failure of Invisible Struggles

My husband was out of town for a few days for work, and I realized how much he does to help me. Purely existing when he is not there is more challenging than I realized. It's a constant 'would you rather?' game chronic illness forces me to play. Would you rather shower, or get the trash cans inside?

Recently, someone from the HOA sent us a picture of our trash cans still out, a 'visible failure' of an 'invisible struggle.' It reminded me that the world often only sees the messy yard, the forgotten chores, or the tired eyes. They don't see the monumental effort behind them. They just say, 'try harder.'

But what I've learned is that I am trying. I'm putting everything I have into this failing report card. My hope is that by sharing my story, we can all learn to look at others with more empathy and less judgment.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability, Values Compass

From Sim to Self: A Value Compass Journey

Apparently since I was a baby I didn’t like to be alone. I never thought I needed alone time, because I was so extraverted that people gave me all the energy and relaxation I needed. Now, with an empty house and a body that needs quiet, I'm finding a new kind of peace. It's a peace that has me re-examining everything—especially my values and self-care. It's a journey from feeling like a Sim, with pre-programmed likes and dislikes, to a self who can listen to my body and my heart. And as I explore this new reality, I'm creating a new compass to guide me: The Value Compass.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Thorn The Bearded Dragon: The Story of Becoming a Drummer

In the desert town of Sunny Scales, a little bearded dragon named Thorn loved to drum. He'd tap his claws on anything he could find, but no one understood his passion. "A good bearded dragon basks and hunts, not bangs on things!" his family would say. The other young dragons just snickered.

One day, a music festival came to town. Thorn, with wobbly legs but a brave heart, climbed onto an empty stage and started to play. He poured all his dreams into the beat, and soon, a crowd gathered. Their feet began to tap, and their heads began to bob.

When he finished, the crowd cheered, and the festival organizer invited him to play in the grand finale. That night, under the stars, Thorn played his heart out. His drumming was amazing! From that day on, he was known as Thorn the Drummer. He learned that the most important thing is to follow your dreams, even if they seem a little different to everyone else.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability

My Daily Dilemma: The Impossible Choices of MS Life

"The game of 'Would You Rather' used to be fun, filled with silly, low-stakes questions. But living with a chronic illness has turned it into a constant, no-win reality. Would you rather skip a shower because you're too dizzy, or take one and spend two hours recovering? Would you rather honestly answer 'how are you?' and make others uncomfortable, or carry the weight of your struggles alone?

This post is a journey through the impossible choices I face daily and the unhelpful 'shoulds' that can make me feel isolated. It’s an exploration of the crucial difference between trying to fix someone's unfixable problem and simply validating their struggle. Because in a game with no good choices, the real win is finding genuine connection and support."

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